#0059
Young, ambitious, and absolutely absurd. Frankly, I don't know my direction in life. I have a hard time accepting religion, in itself, I smoke, I drink, I do the pre marital deed; and want to know a secret, I don't care. This school, I'm afraid, will completely obstruct my dream, I'm afraid that, in some subtle and manipulative way, this school will close my mind from the mundane to the orthodox. I'm not trying to be pessimistic to the belief that I'll find my own individualism, just the fact that I'll be someone I'm not.
Let's go back for a moment; I'm a young man of a different ethnicity than white. I'm quite independent and cynical to the "norm." I'm attending a Christian university, which praises the holy, that prohibits the two d's and f: drugs, drink, and fornication; which, I, ironically have done, all in the same day on some occasions. I believe in God, but the whole religious aspect hurts me, makes me feel sick to my stomach. Honestly, how can one praise Jesus on Sunday after a Saturday night party, how can one continuously ask for forgiveness after taking the same red cup with intoxicating liquid, how can one dare speak in front of the same crowd when they, themselves, have been unfaithful to the very wife they swore to love forever and always? These are just a few examples of what "Christian" have done. Before Jesus burned Sodom and Gomorrah, Abraham asked to save the town if only ten righteous men existed, if only five, if only one; and want to know something, none were righteous. I look at our own hypocritical religion, and ask the same question: one righteous man... None. So, the question is, what right does this school have on imposing rules to make me a better "Christian?"
I'm afraid this school will hurt me as a free thinking, non conservative, counterculture self. I'm afraid. Afraid to the point I'm willing to switch schools, or even drop out. But you know what, I have faith. Despite my rabble against religion, I'm not afraid to try new things. I trust it'll be better at the end, and I will learn something to take to the end.